Girl: You look bedraggled today, in all the best ways of course
Guy: (emergency notification system goes off) It’s the Russians!
Professor: I’m probably going to let you out of class early
Student: Is this some cruel joke?
Student: It’ll be like four minutes early
Professor: This is what happens when your professor is totally sleep deprived
Girl 1: They tried to take our innocence
Girl 2: Your definition of innocence is a bit relative
Professor: The prince always turns out so wimpy after transforming back from the beast; it’s always so disappointing
Girl: You just circumcised your banana
Professor: If you can go up to JMU to get drunk, you can go to JMU to get books
Girl #1: I look like my mother!
Girl #2: At least you know you’ll be hot
Girl: He looks so hot for 82!
Girl: Don’t pancake my boobs, they might not pop out again
Professor: Don’t let the library win
Professor: Have I inspired the troops?
Girl 1: Where are your pants?
Girl 2: I don’t have any
Professor: Robots are coming for us
Guy: I’m going to make someone happy one day just not you
Guy: I’m sure most of the girls in this (gender studies) class want to be housewives
Girl: You think I’m paying this much money to be a housewife, I’m no FCS major!
Girl #1: What type of music is this?
Girl #2: Alternative
Girl #1: How about alternat-off
Professor: Your generation has real trouble with watching movies from before 1990Tweet