Girl: Sorry, you had a little ugly on your face.
Girl: Smirnoff? My “smirn” is never off! I always have Smirn-on!
Girl: I don’t care what the restaurant is called now, as long as they still have cookie skillets.
Professor: It’s the whole point of success, proving haters wrong
Girl: You’re like an eighty year old knitting biddy trapped in a college student’s body
Professor: I’ve been trying to make my blackboard writing look a little less serial killer-ish
Girl: She’s sending her boyfriend four Valentine’s Day cards, who needs that many cards!Tweet